A few of my favourites

A brief rundown of a few of my favourite cars.

Firstly I shall start with my beloved Peugeot 206. Everybody remembers their first car. Most blokes can probably give you a run down of its specs and any problems encountered during their term of ownership. This is the same for me. Percy, as he is fondly named, is a green 206 lx with a 1.2 litre engine. He is my favourite car ever purely because he is mine. I remember the moment I got him, the first drive and the first MOT.



The next car on my list is slightly cooler than my beloved Percy. It is the Bugatti Veyron. This is a beast of a machine. It has 1,000 bhp under the bonnet and the ability to do over 250mph. Its shiny, sleek and damn right beautiful. I think the picture alone provides enough proof.


My future car... hopefully.The Ford Focus ST, is one of the best looking Fords ever, with the exception of the Mustang. I honestly think its the colour that draws me to this car. Also, I must say that Clarkson's review on Top Gear was so entertaining that it was enough to convince anyone that this car is amazing.

The humble VW Beetle. It has clubs set up in its name, a vast range of merchandise and a huge fan base. Its a quirky little car and I love it. The new Beetles have kept the curves but, in my eyes, lost the passion. The old ones shall soldier on despite the numerous breakdowns which they will inevitably encounter.


Peugeot photo courtesy of: Myrtlemotors.co.uk, Bugatti Veyron photo courtesy of: whatonemillionbuys.com, Ford Focus ST photo courtesy of: motormobiles2.de, VW Beetle photo courtesy of: cachejalopnik.com

Caterham R500

The Caterham superlight R500 admittedly looks like a race car of the 1950's but do not be deceived. This is one of the fastest cars in production today. It even beat the Bugatti Veyron round the Top Gear test track. The Bugatti Veyron being the £800,000 supercar with 1,000 bhp and a top speed of 252mph. The fastest road-legal car in production today.

The Caterham superlight R500, in comparison, has about as much power as a Fiat Panda. Despite this the Caterham harnesses its 253bhp from its 2.0 litre engine to knock out 0-60mph in just 2.88 seconds. That's fast, even better is that it costs a fraction of the price of a Veyron at just £36,995.

Designed for speed, it is a real driver's car. Stripped down to the pure essentials, all the unnecessary comforts are removed to the extent that the heater is an optional extra and given that it has no real roof you will probably be needing one.

The Caterham superlight R500 really is a good car, but only in terms of performance. The ride comfort has been compromised to produce such results and it is hardly a good car in terms of practicality, so as long as its just you and perhaps a smallish friend that desire the wind through your hair this little car could be perfect.


Picture courtesy of cache.jalopnik.com

PLease excuse me whilst I rant

I would like to discuss with you the issue of stereotyping people due to the type of car that they drive. Let's have a quick look at some of the stereotypes conveyed by society.

Firstly, as I have discussed before on this blog, the stereotype that Audi, BMW and Mercedes drivers are "cocks". I stand by this stereotype as I am often chased out of the fast lane by one of these cars.

Another rather comical stereotype is that of the Honda Jazz driver. The Jazz seems to be exclusively driven by old men, many of whom look too old to be driving and can barely see over the steering wheel. They all seem to have flat caps on and do 55mph on the motorway. I must say I was rather surprised when I was over-taken by a Honda Jazz the other day that was doing 80mph. It seems this particular driver had managed to find the accelerator.

Stereotype number three is that of the Saab and Volvo drivers. Nobody will ever utter the words "look at that maniac in that Saab". They are considered to be boring cars. This stems from Volvo being very safe cars to drive and are considered to be the boring option.

I feel that we need to break away from these stereotypes in society so I appeal to BMW, Audi and Merc drivers everywhere and implore you to take your foot off the accelerator occasionally. Rather the opposite with Jazz drivers though, take your flat caps off and put your foot down.

Is orange the new black?

A new trend is appearing in the world of car manufacturers. Colours from every part of the spectrum are now being used as standard colours for many cars.

Colours such as orange, bright green and yellow, which traditionally were only found on supercars such as Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Porsches, have made their way into the world of everyday, no fuss motoring.

Ford is leading this trend. Their most notable, and most likely their first example of this was the Ford Focus ST, which is often seen in an eye-catching shade of bright orange. They followed up well with the new Ford Fiesta being advertised in a colour, which is described by Ford as Hot Magenta, but to those of us in the real world is clearly pink. To continue with their trend the new Focus RS comes in a stunning shade of bright green.

The strangest thing about this whole phenomenon is that the colours work. The Ford Focus ST is one of the nicest, affordable cars Ford has made for a long time. It's a beast of a machine and was described by Clarkson as the "perfect car for modern Britain".

If other car manufacturers get on board then Britain's motorways could be transformed from the grey and silver powerbook world of art deco and brushed aluminium into a world of colour, and illuminous ones at that.


Photo courtesy of motormobiles2.de

Tesla- the future of electric motoring?

Green cars, not the sexiest of cars are they? Well for starters the G-Wiz is green car and it is hideous, not in the slightest bit sexy. Other examples of green cars are rather ordinary looking to say the least, for example the Seat Ibiza Ecomotive just looks like any other Seat and the Citroen C1 looks like a deformed Smart car.

I would like to welcome you to the world of the Tesla, and in particular the Tesla Roadster. Possibly the most beautiful green car on sale today. Its looks are based on a Lotus Elise and it can do 0-60mph in 3.9 seconds. That's fast for a petrol powered sports car.

Tesla was first created to fill a gap in the motoring market. It is designed to be fast, fun efficient and above all electric.

So could this little beauty be the future of stylish, green motoring? Possibly...

Let's look at the facts. It has a top speed of 125mph and does this all within one gear. The single speed gear-box allows 14,000 rpm on the redline and does an average of 244 miles per charge, which is a lot when you compare it to the G-Wiz which does a feeble 50 miles per charge. Pretty good huh?

Well, the 244 miles is only an average, and as Top Gear proved yesterday, when driven at full throttle the average miles per charge is considerably less. it also takes several hours to charge compared with a few minutes for filling up petrol going cars.The price is also another issue. the are coming in at over £90,000, which is a lot for an electric car.

So in the end is it really worth it?

Personally, despite the beautiful design and the added cosmetic touches such as LED running lights and an aero kit, I don't think its worth it. It is a lot of money to look cool and feel good about saving the planet. In the world of green motoring it seems you can't have both.

Photo provided by carforums.net

Heat's weirdest crush 2008

The results are in. The votes have been counted and collected and it's official. Jeremy Clarkson is the winner of Heat's Weirdest Crush 2008.

So is it really that weird to fancy Clarkson? Well probably, given that the demographic of Heat readers are rather unlikely to watch Top Gear. Most of them probably know him as the mouthy bloke from that car programme.

So why do the ladies love him? It's not his dodgy, curly and seemingly uncontrollable hair, it's definitely not his beer belly or his dress sense. It's his personality. His ability to be able to make a joke out of anything is part of it. Funny men are sexy. In the case of Clarkson, the fact that he is loaded and has some truly beautiful cars obviously helps.

The three runners up in order were: Barack Obama, GMTV's Andrew Castle and Peep Show's David Mitchell.

Barack Obama will have control of the USA and therefore is sexy due to his power status. Andrew Castle is almost understandable due to his looks and David Mitchell is funny, and as stated before funny men are sexy.

I agree with Clarkson on this one!

Not so recently Clarkson and the rest of the Top Gear team revealed that they believe the so-called "cocks" had moved from their faithful BMWs into Audis. Now I must say that I do partly agree with Clarkson on this one however I believe that they still drive their beloved BMWs, Audis and have even branched out as far Mercedes.

It is not their fault. They do not acknowledge that they are cocks by choosing to buy an Audi, BMW or Merc it is merely something that happens when you get behind the wheel of these big German cars. When you realise that you have well over 150mph under your right foot things are bound to happen to you.

Suddenly anyone who does not drive a similar or better car is no longer worthy to sit in the fast lane of a motorway even if they are doing the speed limit. Its like a game of Top Trumps. If you are out "trumped" you lose your rights to the fast lane.

I vote that small car drivers everywhere take action against the big car drivers and bring them down a notch or two, at least until we are one of them.

Oh boy! G-Wiz!

The picture was provided by goingreen.co.uk

I am the humble owner of green Peugeot 206, called Percy. Don't mock me. I love him. He has never let me down, unlike some of my friends "cooler" cars, and yet I have suffered many hours of torment over my "little French piece of crap". However, I imagine, not as much as some.

As an owner of a G-Wiz you are supposed to feel somewhat superior. The G-Wiz has many perks after all. For starters you can sit there all smug in your cockpit knowing that you are doing your bit for the environment. The G-Wiz allows you access to the greenest motoring in Britain as it gives out zero emissions. The parking in London is free for all G-Wiz owners, there is no congestion charge and no road tax, incredibly cheap insurance and the lowest motoring costs in Britain. It goes on. The new model for 2008, the G-Wiz i, offers improved performance, interior space and safety features.

There is, of course, one fundamental flaw. You look like a complete idiot driving it.

Strangely enough the G-Wiz is advertised as being a two plus two however if you happen to be over five feet tall you will be driving with your knees around your ears and possibly the ears of your front passenger too.

It is not even classed as a car by the Department for Transport. Instead it is classed as a quadricycle and therefore does not have to reach the same safety standards that a car would despite the fact that it has similar uses to a small car such as a Smart car. The G-Wiz, for this reason, is not included in the Euro NCAP tests.

Top Gear conducted their own safety tests, following the guidelines and procedures for the Euro NCAP tests and the G-Wiz failed miserably. The results concluded that the G-Wiz has the potential to seriously maim or even kill its occupants. You may feel good about being saving the environment and being eco-friendly but you may lose a leg and possibly an arm doing it.

Admittedly it doesn't travel over 50mph but the crash tests show the effects in a 40mph crash.

To add to this you can't travel for more than 40 miles without having to recharge the thing. Who wants to recharge their car? In the normal world this is called putting petrol in, not plugging it in.

And then there is the cost. A basic brand new G-Wiz i starts at, yes starts at £9,465. For this price you could buy a much nicer car and not look like a total prat. Or bore your friends to tears every time you start rambling on about how eco-friendly it is.

All of these things will be a constant reminder of how stupid you were to spend almost ten grand on a cardboard box with wheels.

So for now I will be sticking with my beloved Percy, not a particularly green car but not nearly as ridiculous looking as a G-Wiz.

Michael Mcintyre- doing it for the middle class

Comedy license

The BBC have been caught up in a whole lot of trouble recently; mainly concerning their light entertainment programmes. I could spend time describing the ins and outs of the Brand and Ross case but quite frankly I do not care for Russell Brand. I am therefore going to talk about Frankie Boyle.

Frankie Boyle, whilst performing on Mock the Week,was asked to think of something the Queen did not say in her Christmas speech. After comments such as "I've just eaten a swan" and "It's been good to spend time with my family- and Harry", Boyle came out with "I'm now so old my p***y is haunted".

This has caused outrage. The Daily Mail appeared to give a rather unfair report suggesting that it is just another example to the depths which the BBC has fallen. It is not just The Daily Mail but various other news sources don't seem to grasp the fact that it is comedy.

Comedy should not be limited to the confines of taste. If you don't like it turn it off. Where would we have been, in terms of comedy, if The Pythons decided not to make The Life of Brian because some people wouldn't like it. We would be stuck in the era where The Good Life rules and anyone who said anything mildly offensive would be chased out by an angry mob with pitchforks.