Oh boy! G-Wiz!

The picture was provided by goingreen.co.uk

I am the humble owner of green Peugeot 206, called Percy. Don't mock me. I love him. He has never let me down, unlike some of my friends "cooler" cars, and yet I have suffered many hours of torment over my "little French piece of crap". However, I imagine, not as much as some.

As an owner of a G-Wiz you are supposed to feel somewhat superior. The G-Wiz has many perks after all. For starters you can sit there all smug in your cockpit knowing that you are doing your bit for the environment. The G-Wiz allows you access to the greenest motoring in Britain as it gives out zero emissions. The parking in London is free for all G-Wiz owners, there is no congestion charge and no road tax, incredibly cheap insurance and the lowest motoring costs in Britain. It goes on. The new model for 2008, the G-Wiz i, offers improved performance, interior space and safety features.

There is, of course, one fundamental flaw. You look like a complete idiot driving it.

Strangely enough the G-Wiz is advertised as being a two plus two however if you happen to be over five feet tall you will be driving with your knees around your ears and possibly the ears of your front passenger too.

It is not even classed as a car by the Department for Transport. Instead it is classed as a quadricycle and therefore does not have to reach the same safety standards that a car would despite the fact that it has similar uses to a small car such as a Smart car. The G-Wiz, for this reason, is not included in the Euro NCAP tests.

Top Gear conducted their own safety tests, following the guidelines and procedures for the Euro NCAP tests and the G-Wiz failed miserably. The results concluded that the G-Wiz has the potential to seriously maim or even kill its occupants. You may feel good about being saving the environment and being eco-friendly but you may lose a leg and possibly an arm doing it.

Admittedly it doesn't travel over 50mph but the crash tests show the effects in a 40mph crash.

To add to this you can't travel for more than 40 miles without having to recharge the thing. Who wants to recharge their car? In the normal world this is called putting petrol in, not plugging it in.

And then there is the cost. A basic brand new G-Wiz i starts at, yes starts at £9,465. For this price you could buy a much nicer car and not look like a total prat. Or bore your friends to tears every time you start rambling on about how eco-friendly it is.

All of these things will be a constant reminder of how stupid you were to spend almost ten grand on a cardboard box with wheels.

So for now I will be sticking with my beloved Percy, not a particularly green car but not nearly as ridiculous looking as a G-Wiz.

Michael Mcintyre- doing it for the middle class

Comedy license

The BBC have been caught up in a whole lot of trouble recently; mainly concerning their light entertainment programmes. I could spend time describing the ins and outs of the Brand and Ross case but quite frankly I do not care for Russell Brand. I am therefore going to talk about Frankie Boyle.

Frankie Boyle, whilst performing on Mock the Week,was asked to think of something the Queen did not say in her Christmas speech. After comments such as "I've just eaten a swan" and "It's been good to spend time with my family- and Harry", Boyle came out with "I'm now so old my p***y is haunted".

This has caused outrage. The Daily Mail appeared to give a rather unfair report suggesting that it is just another example to the depths which the BBC has fallen. It is not just The Daily Mail but various other news sources don't seem to grasp the fact that it is comedy.

Comedy should not be limited to the confines of taste. If you don't like it turn it off. Where would we have been, in terms of comedy, if The Pythons decided not to make The Life of Brian because some people wouldn't like it. We would be stuck in the era where The Good Life rules and anyone who said anything mildly offensive would be chased out by an angry mob with pitchforks.